Those hurricanes and strange conspiracy theories

WITH GUSTAV sinking into the Louisiana swamps and a flood of potentially dangerous hurricanes looming on the dark horizon in the next 10 days, it’s only a matter of time before the conspiracy theorists present their case (s).
Will everyone from the Russians to aliens from outer space to a roomful of mad scientists be blamed for such weather catastrophes?
When I thought that was “sick” thinking on my part, I went searching the Net and found out about a meteorologist in Pocatello, Idaho, who reportedly claimed that Japanese gangsters known as the Yakuza caused Hurricane Katrina. It’s the one which devastated New Orleans back in 2005.
Of course, whether that “meteorologist’s” tale has some fact behind it is another matter. This Idaho hot “potato” apparently was convinced “it was caused by electromagnetic generators from ground-based microwave transmitters.”
However, conspiracy theories have been around for centuries as I detailed in a column from a couple of years ago. In fact, they have become an epidemic.
You don't believe me?In 2001, the BBC reported, “when historic events shake our world, conspiracy theories are seldom far behind,” and then proceeded to outline some of those "theories" that the moon landing was faked; Princess Di was murdered; and the granddaddies of them all, that “JFK was the victim of an elaborate CIA assassination plot.”
Well, JFK probably wasn't the “granddaddy” of conspiracies for Honest Abe Lincoln's assassination in the 1860s also had more than a tinge of conspiracy.
In order to pacify my restless curiosity, I went searching for the wackiest conspiracy theories on the Net. In order to save you the trouble of looking behind every closet door or down every spooky alleyway, here they are:
* The world is controlled by dinosauroid-like alien reptiles. These "reptiles," direct from the constellation Draco, must consume human blood to keep their human appearance. And how come you know that, Corbett? Well, a BBC reporter named David Icke said so. And one more thing, Christine Fitzgerald, supposedly a confidante of the late Lady Di, said the princess claimed the Royal Family were reptilian aliens.
* NASA faked the Apollo 11 moon landings. So you've heard that one before, have you? The main reason there was no such historic event(s) was those moon boys could never have survived the journey because of exposure to radiation. And what's more there are no stars in any of the photos. So it must be the truth.
* An another one, which has slipped past the Ol' Columnist, is the one about the U.S. government in Washington, D.C., with the assistance of Israel, and/or Iraq, planning those 9/11 attacks. Of course, it seems plausible since the Twin Towers fell straight down. And the entire conspiracy scenario hinges on the fact that Flight 77 flew towards the Pentagon for 40 minutes without being intercepted.
* You better watch out when shopping for those barcodes are really used to control people. And, another major "fact" -- they could be Satanic in nature. So now you know.
* Another historical "fact" was the Early Middle Ages (500-1000 AD) never occurred and Charlemagne never existed. What happened to him, I don't know even though I learned about him in school. Of course, he was a figment of my imagination.
* Area 51 in the Roswell, New Mexico area is the place where extraterrestrials and we, humans, communicate in planning advanced technology. So you believe that one, too?
* The 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami was "manufactured" by the Americans and their cohorts by the use of electromagnetic pulse technology. Now some Arab news services believe that and passed it on, so who am I to doubt it?
* And then there's the one that before the U.S. landed on the moon in the late 1960s, the Nazis already had a moon base there, and get this, as far back as 1942.
The reason the masses embrace those conspiracy theories, even the ones that sound logical, is it gives misery and injustice an identity and makes life more bearable, according to magazine writer Jeffrey Bale.
“Conspiracy theories account for current crises and upheavals and explain why bad things are happening to good people or vice versa,” he once told BBC News.
So what about the latest flood of hurricanes, starting with Gustav, and followed by Hanna, Ike, Josephine, Kyle, Laura, etc., etc.?
Perhaps, a devious scheme disrupted the Republican convention in Minnesota with horrible weather.
Maybe, the conspiracy theorists will put out that statement – and soon.
After all, they are always in session and in season.